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The Corporate Ladder

Journal Entry: Wed Dec 5, 2012, 5:54 PM

In a surprising turn of events, I find myself once again being promoted. I was offered an MIT (Manager In Training) position, and am now preparing to be able to run my own store. On top of the immediate boost to my salary for being an MIT, should I succeed and become a General Manager, my income will more than double.

There are risks and sacrifices involved though. For one, I will more than likely work a 60 hour week... every single week... forever.  I will also be required to move or travel wherever corporate tells me to, and leave behind my friends and family. The position itself is very demanding too, and failure to perform will certainly result in swift termination.

Part of me wants to step down, and keep my job as an Assistant Manager. It is much easier, and less stressful, to be second in command. But at the same time, I recognize that I should not let fear or laziness ruin an opportunity like this, on an offer that comes only once.

So there it is. The 'Bide' might end sooner than expected. And instead of worrying about regular things like car payments or credit card debt, I will worry about rich person things like "What's taking them so long to buff my Navigator". Bonus points if you have been around long enough to get that reference :D


Goodbye Minnesota, Hello Maryland.

  • Mood: Thanks
  • Listening to: "At Transformation" The Tragically Hip.
  • Reading: The Twelve
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2
  • Eating: Kraft Macaroni
  • Drinking: New Castle


Journal Entry: Sun Jul 8, 2012, 2:39 PM

Having spent the last few weeks talking with bankers, mortgage brokers, and realtors (and spending hours on end laying on my bed staring at the ceiling) I have come to the conclusion that I cannot afford a house. Even though houses in my area have dropped in price to historic lows, sometimes down 100k from their list price 5 years ago, it is still too much to handle given that I am just one dude, with no friends.

Which, is fairly depressing. I told myself that I would save money from my new job for a down payment on a house, which I did. I talked with mortgage brokers and was approved for the necessary loans. And while I could buy the house, I couldn't really LIVE in that house. Why is that? Because I cant fork a house payment AND student loans AND a car payment and expect to live a lifestyle other than that of a beggar. Truth be told I don't currently have a car payment at the moment, but I'm running on borrowed time on the car I am driving.

If I spend yet one more year at home, I could pay off ALL of my student loans, AND buy a brand new car. In exchange for this financial security, I need only sacrifice my nonexistent social life, independence, and live like a child with mom and dad.

I keep telling myself that this is the smarter decision. How many people my age have paid off their college debt, and drive a new car? Yet in the back of my mind, I cant help but think "how many people my age are married, have their own place to stay, and lead interesting lives?"

I guess everything has its price, and that's why they call the American Dream, a "Dream".

**** I will say this, as to not sound like a complete twat, I am GRATEFUL to have these options. I can clearly remember scrubbing cars, literally on my hands and knees, for dick-fifty an hour, working my ass off and not ever making any progress. I also remember the design interviews I had, where I was grilled and asked if I was the greatest artist that ever was, because they expected no less, and then told that my wage would be a fitting dick-fifty.

****EDIT - I did go and buy that new car, so it appears my path is set.

  • Mood: Shame
  • Playing: Dragon's Dogma

A Change of Pace

Journal Entry: Sat Sep 17, 2011, 2:08 PM
I was recently promoted at work, and am now a proud member of 'Management'.

I don't have to work for an hourly wage anymore, or do manual labor. Instead, I have a good salary and work mainly in customer service.

Seeing other people driving new cars, mowing their lawns, and tending to children used to fill me with violent rage. But now all of those things are within reach, and that is a wonderful feeling.

  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: "Helena Beat" - Foster The People
  • Reading: Storm of Swords: A Song of Ice and Fire


Journal Entry: Thu Jun 30, 2011, 1:47 PM
Went and saw 'The Sword' play a show at the Triple Rock in Minneapolis last night, with Dead Meadow and Romero. Overall it was one bad ass show. The Sword of course fucking killed it, they played  a massive set covering all their albums, and I can die happy having heard "Freya" played live. I thought Dead Meadow would be boring to see live because their songs are mellow and psychedelic on CD. Live however, they melt your face.  I found myself banging my head and trying hard not to drip into a puddle of cosmic goodness. Epic epic shit there.  I missed all but one song from Romero, because I was drinking at the bar and had no idea the show had even started, my bad. On that note, while i was drinking I noticed a trio of skinny, glasses-wearing nerds hanging at the end of the bar, as it would turn out those nerds were the members of Dead Meadow. On a similar note, a dude I had pegged as a girly-headed fuck of a roadie turned out to be the lead guitarist for 'The Sword'. Give me a break people, I love the music, but I don't visit their damn facebook and stalk them how am I supposed to know what they look like!?!?!

Also, tattooed rocker women, I saw them.

  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: "Young Men Dead" - The Black Angels
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2
  • Drinking: water


Journal Entry: Sun Oct 17, 2010, 5:21 PM
Have had horrible art block. No idea what to draw or how to draw it, and what i do draw sucks balls.

Been playing a lot of Team Fortress 2, and finally have the Pugilist Protector, Chieftan's Challenge, and Surgical Mask. I am complete. No more need to worry about boxes or trading or anything of that nature.

  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: "Young Men Dead" - The Black Angels
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2
  • Drinking: water

I Dig It

Journal Entry: Thu May 20, 2010, 5:44 PM
Been a looong time since i made a journal entry (10 months), so i figured I would update.

I am excited to say that I just ordered a new computer, and in about a week will have a beautiful new machine to work with/watch porn/troll 4chan endlessly.

Apart from that I just wanted to say that I love DA. And despite the fact that I rarely come out of my metallic shell and comment anymore, I browse DA for at least an hour everyday. This may be due in part to the fact that I have no life, but it's also because I genuinely love seeing the creative efforts of others.  

To all my friends and watchers, I appreciate your support, even if I rarely show it. Please trust that I actively stalk you, and that you just wont realize it until its too late.

  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: "Countless Skies" by Be'Lakor
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2
  • Drinking: water

Jobless.... YAY!

Journal Entry: Thu Jul 30, 2009, 10:33 AM
I quit my job on Tuesday.

It was getting to the point where I could barely get out of bed and drive to it, and the work was making me more and more psychotic by the day.  Finally the managers called me to the office, and talked to me about my "attitude" .  Apparently my inability to eat shit and smile at the same time bothered them.

They made an impeccable argument, against which I saw little reason to put up more than a feeble explanation for my behavior.  
I worked for about ten minutes after that before it basically sank in that I just cant do this crap anymore and quit.

Once again I now have the time to pursue more creative endeavors.

If you have the money (oh say $25), I have the time, so send me a note here on DA or hit me up on AIM.

  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: "God" - by Ufomammut
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2
  • Eating: Cinnamon toast waffle things
  • Drinking: water

12' Rubber Dick

Wed Jul 22, 2009, 7:06 PM

Im super fucked up right now so deal with it.

Ive come to realize that I spend 40+ hours a week face down in shit. It sucks, but it pays the bills.

So far this week the ongoing joke of my life has been the fact that a 12" Dildo was found in a car I cleaned at work.  The car was being shown by a salesmen, and the customer opened the trunk, looked under the spare tire and found a foot-long double-sided dildo.  The dildo was then slammed onto my boss' desk, and then brought to my attention when I was called to the managers' office.

Since then, my boss has referred to me as "Dil", and everybody cracks jokes that the thing was mine. Fuck you all.

Also, a rich prick made up some phony excuse that his car wasn't cleaned good enough, so I had to clean it again, despite the fact that it was driven for 4 days and his hell spawn children had fucked it up since then. When it was originally given to me, you couldnt see the floor, because it was covered with half-eaten food. Fuck you, you rich mother fucker, you shoud be kissing my ass.

Speaking of rich mother fuckers, fuck the asshole that wined about me taking so long on buffing his Navigator. It's a giant fucking truck, fuck you.

The only thing that gets me through the day is my ipod.  If i didnt have death metal to listen to, god knows what Id do.

on a side note, I love Screwdrivers. Bless you all.

This journal was coded by LineBirgitte - graphics by xyphid
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: FF8 OST
  • Playing: The odds
  • Eating: nothing bitch, I is watchn mah calories
  • Drinking: Vodka + Tequila
Gotta update because that past journal was super emo.  I admit that I was a tad melodramatic.  I havent told anyone or beat the hell outta him, but i do jokingly give him quite a bit of shit.  More than anything I feel bad for the kid.


It is hotter than fuck this week, and when you work in an auto shop that is essentially one giant brick oven, it is EXTRA hotter than fuck.  Which brings me to the point of this journal.  I've been working as an automotive detailer, scrubbing cars like a bitch for a while now (that's what you get when you aren't ambitious enough to apply for jobs you have a degree and are qualified to work for) and today I got the worst fucking car ever.  These people brought in a dirty ass Mountaineer(SUV) and complained about a dead animal smell coming from the blower, a stench that could be smelled from outside the car. The mechanics took out the blower while I worked on cleaning the piece of shit, and inside they found a nest full of dead mice, crawling with maggots. It still kills me to think that some retarded ass mouse built a nest inside this car (happens all the time, you would know this if you did my kinda work), birthed a bunch of twerps, and at some point the car was actually driven thus separating mom from the babies.  These babies were then left to cook inside the car while it was parked in the sun somewhere far from home.  Worse yet is that flies got into the car and laid eggs.  Worse still is that these people waited long enough to bring this car into the shop so that maggots could begin eating the dead mice.  Having replaced the blower, and poured chemicals down the vents, the air still smells like death.

I fear the AC is permanently fucked, because some of the mice surely crawled deeper into the belly of the machine and died, leaving jellied body tissue in the bowels of the vents.

This whole "dying trapped and helpless in the stomach of a machine" thing is downright fascinating.
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: Darkest Hour -With a Thousand Words to Say But One
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2
  • Eating: Orbits gum
  • Drinking: Water
Today I found out that my cousin's girlfriend is pregnant.

From all the people I could have heard it from, I heard it from my boss at work, who happens to know the girlfriend's family and mentioned it to me as if I or the rest of his/my family knew about it, which they do not.  When I confronted my friends about this they played dumb with me, and then confessed that I wasn't supposed to know about it.

Normally this type of thing might be celebrated, however, in this instance I dont think it could be worse news for many reasons. For one, my cousin has been unemployed for 6 months, his girlfriend has been unemployed for over a year(and has never really had a real job).  He is 24, she is 20. He lives in my grandparents basement, she lives there too for some god awful reason even though it is not his house and they are not married.  Both of them are basically illiterate, lazy, leeches who get by only on welfare and the assistance of others.

But this isnt really why I am upset.  There is a lot of history to be shared, but Ill spare you a 3 page journal and cut to the chase.

It has secretly been my hope for a long time that my cousin would grow to become a successful and responsible man,  that he would be different from his father, that he would overcome terrible odds, and having accomplished those things the very strained efforts of the grandparents who raised him would be validated.  In fact, I even hoped it would validate my presence in his life as the ever constant voice of caution. I had hoped I could make a difference.

But he has failed us...   and he has failed ME!  I tried... I tried so fucking hard to watch over him.

And here I am, with this secret burning a hole in me.  I want to scream it.  I want to tell every relative, and the grandparents he has sucked on like a leech since childhood.  I want to confront him, let him know what a fucking retard he is, THAT I TOLD YOU SO, and beat the life out of him.  

But I wont.  What good would it do.  I tried to help him my whole life and he never listened... he never listened to me... ever.  

Whether he knows it or not this child is a living symbol of his inability to escape fate, and of his betrayal of our efforts to aid him.
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: NIN "No, You Dont"
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2
  • Drinking: Water
Okay so I got this from another person's journal, and considering what a music freak I am I had to do one too.

Rules: One album per artist, no compilations, no greatest hits
In alphabetical order:

1.) Agalloch - Ashes Against the Grain
2.) Astroqueen - Into Submission
3.) Billy Talent - Billy Talent
4.) Black Moth Super Rainbow - Dandelion Gum
5.) Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - B.R.M.C.
6.) The Blind Shake - Rizzograph
7.) Blood Ceremony - Blood Ceremony
8.) Bongzilla - Amerijaunican
9.) Capricorns - River, Bear Your Bones
10.) Children of Bodom - Are You Dead Yet
11.) Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
12.) Daft Punk - Human After All
13.) Dead Meadow - Feathers
14.) Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman, I'm a Machine
15.) Digitalism - Idealism
16.) Dover - I Was Dead For 7 Weeks In the City of Angels
17.) Dozer - Through the Eyes of Heathens
18.) Early Man - Closing In
19.) Electric Wizard - Dopethrone
20.) Espers - The Weed Tree
21.) Fall of Troy - Doppleganger
22.) Fear Before the March of Flames - The Always Open Mouth
23.) Fu Manchu - The Action os Go
24.) The Go! Team - Proof of Youth
25.) Graveyard - Graveyard
26.) Hatebreed - Satisfaction is the Death of Desire
27.) Iron Maiden - Fear of the Dark
28.) Jucifer - If Thine Enemy Hungers
29.) Kylesa - To Walk a Middle Course
30.) Lowrider - Ode to IO
31.) Mewithoutyou - Catch For Us the Foxes
32.) Modern Life Is War - My Love, My Way
33.) Mogwai - Happy Songs for Happy People
34.) NIN - The Fragile (left)
35.) The Offspring - Smash
36.) Om - Pilgrimage
37.) Pinback - Autumn of the Seraphs
38.) Primus - Frizzle Fry
39.) Queens of the Stone Age - Songs for the Deaf
40.) Radiohead - Kid A
41.) Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine
42.) Red Sparowes - At the Soundless Dawn
43.) Sleep - Jerusalem
44.) The Sword - Age of Winters
45.) Tegan and Sara - This Business of Art
46.) Truckfighters - Gravity X
47.) Tsunami Bomb - The Definitive Act
48.) Weedeater - ...And Justice For Y'All
49.) Witch - Witch
50.) 65daysofstatic - The Fall of Math
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: 65daysofstatic - I swallowed hard, likeIunderstood
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2
  • Drinking: Mouth Wash
Okay, im just updating my journal to get rid of that last one.

Thank You :iconkamikazekayti: for getting me  a sub!
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: Jex Thoth - "Seperated at birth"
  • Reading: H.P. Lovecraft
  • Playing: Warcraft 3 - The Frozen Throne
  • Drinking: Grape Juice
Ok, so I see all you cool people and your DA subscriptions, and I am like, "balls... I want one"

Anybody interested in donating me a 3 month sub in exchange for a commission? anyone? please?

Send me notes damnit!
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: Phantom Broadcast - The Go! Team
  • Reading: interwebs
  • Watching: too much bad tv
  • Playing: Warcraft 3 - The Frozen Throne
  • Drinking: Water
Ok, so i had never been to before yesterday.  Why did i go there?  Dont ask, but needless to say, I ended up in the Women Seeking Men date/casual sex section.

Holy fucking shit.

I had no idea so many people used that site... or that people actually advertised for fucking hook-ups... god damn.

It has now become one of my favorite sites to lurk.... maybe even better than DA? (no way :P)

Dont get me wrong, I have no intention of replying to any of that crap, because quite frankly I havnt got the self esteem and on the other-hand I DO have a girlfriend. It's just that for some reason, I take great solace knowing that somewhere out there, there are girls who are single, lonely, and have sex drives.

***personal note: If I WAS ever going to reply, it definitely wouldnt be to the girls who cant spell "Liar" or "Message" or "Employed" nothing pisses me off more than people who cant spell simple fucking words. NOTHING GOD DAMNIT!***
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: "A moment of Stillness" by God is an Ast
  • Reading: lips
  • Watching: too much bad tv
  • Playing: *eyes pokemon blue warily*
  • Eating: Gum?
  • Drinking: Water
Today is my birthday, WOOT!  That makes me 23 years old, and just so you know, much cooler than you :D

I didn't mention anything before, but I graduated from college in December, and have got LOTS of free time on my hands.  I've basically been playing video games all day everyday for a month.  I know i need to be looking for jobs and getting a decent portfolio put together, but... games are just so fun.  This whole crap economy thing is really lame too... I wish i had graduated 4 years ago.

As far as art goes, Im looking to re-vamp my portfolio, and make it more professional and job oriented.  What does this mean?  More design related submissions, such as t-shirt graphics and logos.

Also, Im always interested in doing trades, collaborations, and commissions.  Just drop me a Note if you want to set something up.
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: "By the Sea" - Modern Life is War
  • Reading: I dont read i look at pictures!
  • Watching: too much bad tv
  • Playing: Warcraft 3 - The Frozen Throne
  • Eating: Birthday Cake!
  • Drinking: Water
Fear you?  Does the hammer fear the box of nails? No.  Remember that, kid, while you wear your friends like armor.  You are all just nails, and sooner or later you are going to get pounded down.
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: Ramesses - Terrordactyl
  • Eating: Pizza and Ranch
  • Drinking: MTN Dew Livewire
Let me just say that if Obama does not win, then I have lost all faith in mankind, my fellow americans in particular.

Halfway done with the semester, which means my Senior Show is only 6 weeks away... *GASP*

Beautiful pictures are on the way :D
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: Yeah Yeah Yeahs
  • Reading: Cyclopedia Anatomaecia
  • Watching: School
  • Playing: School
  • Eating: Preservatives and Caffeine
  • Drinking: NO MORE!!!!
Alright, Im back at school for what will hopefully be my final semester, after which i can move on and be the broke as a joke artist that i yearn to be. I have no idea what i want to do with my life, and to be honest i don't really care, i just really dont want to have to do homework ever again.

Im sorry for the lack of updates, looks like i havnt submitted anything for damn near half a year, holy shit!  There is an explanation for this: World of Warcraft.  I picked it up again as something to do to burn time over the summer, and i let it get out of hand.  i can tell right now that i need to quit..but but i cant its just soooo gooooood.


Ive been having a bitchn time trying to focus on shit to draw, and am busy trying to think of a subject for my senior project (animation? illlustrations?).  If any of my watchers bother to read this, and have ideas for things they'd like to see done, POST EM! Fantasy, Sci-Fi, horror, street art shit u name it.  By all means im not promising ill do'em, but i might :D
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: Mewithoutyou
  • Playing: World of Warcraft
  • Eating: Healthy?
  • Drinking: Not as heavily
Confession, whenever i see someone riding a bicycle while im driving my car, i want to punt them right into the ditch.  As for motorcycles, Id like to hit them with a red shell if ya know wut i mean.

congrats to my longtime friend and former roomate :iconvergeofsanity: who graduated this year, may the suckiness of the real world never get you down!

Im home for the summer so I havent got highspeed, i have no adobe software atm, and im working fulltime so ill be lurking in the shadows and popping up sporadically like a bad case of herpes.

Ive also got a beer gut to run off after a year of eating pizza and bar hopping, but it seems this happens to me every year so what else is new?

Im addicted to Cool Green Apple sugar free gum, and go through half a pack a day.

Anyone taking the time to read this, I applaud you, and as for my watchers and DA buddies i hope to get some stuff up soon
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: Bongzilla
  • Reading: The Omnivores Dilemma
  • Watching: The clock
  • Playing: Final Fantasy IX
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Monster Lo-Carb Energy
This past week, 3 UW-Stout students died in a house fire that took place just off campus. The Westboro Baptist Church (a hate group) took it upon themselves to hold a protest on our campus today, praising the deaths of these kids as gods will, punishment for us allowing gays to exist.

The six or so Westboro retards that showed up were met by hundreds of Stout Students, and the hour and a half planned protest lasted for only 15 minutes, because the westboro pussies couldnt take all the shit we gave them.

Fuck you Westboro Baptist Church!  Your kind is not welcome here!

YouTube video of the protest can be seen here…
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: Red Sparowes
  • Watching: No Country For Old Men
  • Playing: Earthbound
  • Eating: Honey Bunches of Oats
  • Drinking: UV Blue Vodka