Gotta update because that past journal was super emo.  I admit that I was a tad melodramatic.  I havent told anyone or beat the hell outta him, but i do jokingly give him quite a bit of shit.  More than anything I feel bad for the kid.

Anyway

It is hotter than fuck this week, and when you work in an auto shop that is essentially one giant brick oven, it is EXTRA hotter than fuck.  Which brings me to the point of this journal.  I've been working as an automotive detailer, scrubbing cars like a bitch for a while now (that's what you get when you aren't ambitious enough to apply for jobs you have a degree and are qualified to work for) and today I got the worst fucking car ever.  These people brought in a dirty ass Mountaineer(SUV) and complained about a dead animal smell coming from the blower, a stench that could be smelled from outside the car. The mechanics took out the blower while I worked on cleaning the piece of shit, and inside they found a nest full of dead mice, crawling with maggots. It still kills me to think that some retarded ass mouse built a nest inside this car (happens all the time, you would know this if you did my kinda work), birthed a bunch of twerps, and at some point the car was actually driven thus separating mom from the babies.  These babies were then left to cook inside the car while it was parked in the sun somewhere far from home.  Worse yet is that flies got into the car and laid eggs.  Worse still is that these people waited long enough to bring this car into the shop so that maggots could begin eating the dead mice.  Having replaced the blower, and poured chemicals down the vents, the air still smells like death.

I fear the AC is permanently fucked, because some of the mice surely crawled deeper into the belly of the machine and died, leaving jellied body tissue in the bowels of the vents.

This whole "dying trapped and helpless in the stomach of a machine" thing is downright fascinating.

Today I found out that my cousin's girlfriend is pregnant.

From all the people I could have heard it from, I heard it from my boss at work, who happens to know the girlfriend's family and mentioned it to me as if I or the rest of his/my family knew about it, which they do not.  When I confronted my friends about this they played dumb with me, and then confessed that I wasn't supposed to know about it.

Normally this type of thing might be celebrated, however, in this instance I dont think it could be worse news for many reasons. For one, my cousin has been unemployed for 6 months, his girlfriend has been unemployed for over a year(and has never really had a real job).  He is 24, she is 20. He lives in my grandparents basement, she lives there too for some god awful reason even though it is not his house and they are not married.  Both of them are basically illiterate, lazy, leeches who get by only on welfare and the assistance of others.

But this isnt really why I am upset.  There is a lot of history to be shared, but Ill spare you a 3 page journal and cut to the chase.

It has secretly been my hope for a long time that my cousin would grow to become a successful and responsible man,  that he would be different from his father, that he would overcome terrible odds, and having accomplished those things the very strained efforts of the grandparents who raised him would be validated.  In fact, I even hoped it would validate my presence in his life as the ever constant voice of caution. I had hoped I could make a difference.

But he has failed us...   and he has failed ME!  I tried... I tried so fucking hard to watch over him.

And here I am, with this secret burning a hole in me.  I want to scream it.  I want to tell every relative, and the grandparents he has sucked on like a leech since childhood.  I want to confront him, let him know what a fucking retard he is, THAT I TOLD YOU SO, and beat the life out of him.  

But I wont.  What good would it do.  I tried to help him my whole life and he never listened... he never listened to me... ever.  

Whether he knows it or not this child is a living symbol of his inability to escape fate, and of his betrayal of our efforts to aid him.

Okay so I got this from another person's journal, and considering what a music freak I am I had to do one too.

Rules: One album per artist, no compilations, no greatest hits
In alphabetical order:

1.) Agalloch - Ashes Against the Grain
2.) Astroqueen - Into Submission
3.) Billy Talent - Billy Talent
4.) Black Moth Super Rainbow - Dandelion Gum
5.) Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - B.R.M.C.
6.) The Blind Shake - Rizzograph
7.) Blood Ceremony - Blood Ceremony
8.) Bongzilla - Amerijaunican
9.) Capricorns - River, Bear Your Bones
10.) Children of Bodom - Are You Dead Yet
11.) Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
12.) Daft Punk - Human After All
13.) Dead Meadow - Feathers
14.) Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman, I'm a Machine
15.) Digitalism - Idealism
16.) Dover - I Was Dead For 7 Weeks In the City of Angels
17.) Dozer - Through the Eyes of Heathens
18.) Early Man - Closing In
19.) Electric Wizard - Dopethrone
20.) Espers - The Weed Tree
21.) Fall of Troy - Doppleganger
22.) Fear Before the March of Flames - The Always Open Mouth
23.) Fu Manchu - The Action os Go
24.) The Go! Team - Proof of Youth
25.) Graveyard - Graveyard
26.) Hatebreed - Satisfaction is the Death of Desire
27.) Iron Maiden - Fear of the Dark
28.) Jucifer - If Thine Enemy Hungers
29.) Kylesa - To Walk a Middle Course
30.) Lowrider - Ode to IO
31.) Mewithoutyou - Catch For Us the Foxes
32.) Modern Life Is War - My Love, My Way
33.) Mogwai - Happy Songs for Happy People
34.) NIN - The Fragile (left)
35.) The Offspring - Smash
36.) Om - Pilgrimage
37.) Pinback - Autumn of the Seraphs
38.) Primus - Frizzle Fry
39.) Queens of the Stone Age - Songs for the Deaf
40.) Radiohead - Kid A
41.) Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine
42.) Red Sparowes - At the Soundless Dawn
43.) Sleep - Jerusalem
44.) The Sword - Age of Winters
45.) Tegan and Sara - This Business of Art
46.) Truckfighters - Gravity X
47.) Tsunami Bomb - The Definitive Act
48.) Weedeater - ...And Justice For Y'All
49.) Witch - Witch
50.) 65daysofstatic - The Fall of Math

Okay, im just updating my journal to get rid of that last one.

Thank You for getting me  a sub!

Ok, so I see all you cool people and your DA subscriptions, and I am like, "balls... I want one"

Anybody interested in donating me a 3 month sub in exchange for a commission? anyone? please?

Send me notes damnit!

Ok, so i had never been to Craigslist.com before yesterday.  Why did i go there?  Dont ask, but needless to say, I ended up in the Women Seeking Men date/casual sex section.

Holy fucking shit.

I had no idea so many people used that site... or that people actually advertised for fucking hook-ups... god damn.

It has now become one of my favorite sites to lurk.... maybe even better than DA? (no way )

Dont get me wrong, I have no intention of replying to any of that crap, because quite frankly I havnt got the self esteem and on the other-hand I DO have a girlfriend. It's just that for some reason, I take great solace knowing that somewhere out there, there are girls who are single, lonely, and have sex drives.

***personal note: If I WAS ever going to reply, it definitely wouldnt be to the girls who cant spell "Liar" or "Message" or "Employed" nothing pisses me off more than people who cant spell simple fucking words. NOTHING GOD DAMNIT!***

Today is my birthday, WOOT!  That makes me 23 years old, and just so you know, much cooler than you

I didn't mention anything before, but I graduated from college in December, and have got LOTS of free time on my hands.  I've basically been playing video games all day everyday for a month.  I know i need to be looking for jobs and getting a decent portfolio put together, but... games are just so fun.  This whole crap economy thing is really lame too... I wish i had graduated 4 years ago.

As far as art goes, Im looking to re-vamp my portfolio, and make it more professional and job oriented.  What does this mean?  More design related submissions, such as t-shirt graphics and logos.

Also, Im always interested in doing trades, collaborations, and commissions.  Just drop me a Note if you want to set something up.

Fear you?  Does the hammer fear the box of nails? No.  Remember that, kid, while you wear your friends like armor.  You are all just nails, and sooner or later you are going to get pounded down.

Let me just say that if Obama does not win, then I have lost all faith in mankind, my fellow americans in particular.

Halfway done with the semester, which means my Senior Show is only 6 weeks away... *GASP*

Beautiful pictures are on the way

Alright, Im back at school for what will hopefully be my final semester, after which i can move on and be the broke as a joke artist that i yearn to be. I have no idea what i want to do with my life, and to be honest i don't really care, i just really dont want to have to do homework ever again.

Im sorry for the lack of updates, looks like i havnt submitted anything for damn near half a year, holy shit!  There is an explanation for this: World of Warcraft.  I picked it up again as something to do to burn time over the summer, and i let it get out of hand.  i can tell right now that i need to quit..but but i cant its just soooo gooooood.

I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS!!!!!!!!

Ive been having a bitchn time trying to focus on shit to draw, and am busy trying to think of a subject for my senior project (animation? illlustrations?).  If any of my watchers bother to read this, and have ideas for things they'd like to see done, POST EM! Fantasy, Sci-Fi, horror, street art shit u name it.  By all means im not promising ill do'em, but i might

Confession, whenever i see someone riding a bicycle while im driving my car, i want to punt them right into the ditch.  As for motorcycles, Id like to hit them with a red shell if ya know wut i mean.

congrats to my longtime friend and former roomate who graduated this year, may the suckiness of the real world never get you down!

Im home for the summer so I havent got highspeed, i have no adobe software atm, and im working fulltime so ill be lurking in the shadows and popping up sporadically like a bad case of herpes.

Ive also got a beer gut to run off after a year of eating pizza and bar hopping, but it seems this happens to me every year so what else is new?

Im addicted to Cool Green Apple sugar free gum, and go through half a pack a day.

Anyone taking the time to read this, I applaud you, and as for my watchers and DA buddies i hope to get some stuff up soon

This past week, 3 UW-Stout students died in a house fire that took place just off campus. The Westboro Baptist Church (a hate group) took it upon themselves to hold a protest on our campus today, praising the deaths of these kids as gods will, punishment for us allowing gays to exist.

The six or so Westboro retards that showed up were met by hundreds of Stout Students, and the hour and a half planned protest lasted for only 15 minutes, because the westboro pussies couldnt take all the shit we gave them.

Fuck you Westboro Baptist Church!  Your kind is not welcome here!

YouTube video of the protest can be seen here [link]